Bringing a new dog home, copyright 2011-2018 Frania Shelley-Grielen, all rights
What do you need to know about your new dog? Bringing a new dog into your home can
be an exciting and stressful time for us as humans and an exciting and stressful time for
the dog. As many plans and expectations as you may have for your new dog, know that
your dog simply cannot share them, he or she does not speak English, read or know your
intentions. He cannot know that you plan to be the best of friends, to go for plenty of
walks every day, teach him to play fetch or let him sit on the couch with you. Your new
dog cannot trust that you will find the right dog food and make sure she gets to the vet
when she needs to and find the right toys and games to play with her. Things are
changing very fast for your new dog; whatever routine or family or place your dog has
been in is now gone and his world will never be the same. What your dog does know is
what is around him right now, what this new immediate environment (including your
presence) smells, sounds and looks like in this moment. There is a biological necessity for
this new dog to seek safety, safety, solace and routine. Read on for some tips on how to
provide this much needed assurance of safety:
- Anticipate what your dog will need and have it around before you bring your dog
home. Things like high quality dog food, bowls for food and water, a leash (4-6
feet of leather or cloth), a leather or cloth flat or martingale collar (Skip prong,
choke and head halters) toys -especially chew toys, a brush and a dog bed round
out the essentials.
Do not be concerned if your new dog does not exhibit much interest in play initially, this
will come once your dog feels safe enough to play and when you identify which toys your
dog prefers to play with.
- Bring your new arrival directly home, do not stop and run errands or introduce
this dog to your friends or family on the way home. As much as you may want to
show off your new dog, resist, you do not want to overwhelm your new
companion. For the first week or so limit visitors to your home in order to allow
the dog to process you and your home environment at an easy pace.
- Make sure and take time to allow the dog to sniff around (on a leash!) the block,
yard or perimeter area of your home. This walk around should also include the
indoor areas of your home. Remember to engage the dog at all times in this
process—talk to your new dog in a happy and calm voice, explain what is going
on. While your dog may not understand every word you are saying, your tone of
voice and accompanying body language will reassure your dog that he or she is in
a possibly welcome and safe place. Keeping the dog on leash will keep the dog
connected to you, helping to foster both emotional and physical security (all new
dogs are capable of escaping from unfamiliar surroundings given an opportunity).
- Establish a consistent and frequent on leash walk routine. Initially use your dog
walks as relief walks rather than recreation. Take your dog for shorter walks in
your neighborhood for the first several weeks, save excursions and dog park visits
for the second month when you are and your dog will know each other better.
Even with the best house training your home is new to this dog, there are no familiar
smells, routines or safe and comfortable places to be yet. Should there be a break in house
training, know that this loss of control may be stress related. Avoid any reprimands as
they will only serve to create more stress.
- Place your dog’s bed in the area the dog will be sleeping in; a cozy and quiet corner
of your bedroom is ideal-- avoid hallways, garages, basements or other isolated
areas. Dogs are social animals and you have brought this dog home to be a part of
your family, this is the time to incorporate him or her into the comfort of you and your
Set your radio to a classical music station and make sure to leave it on for your dog when
you are not around. The soothing music coupled with the melodic voices of the
announcers will add to the comfort of your new dog’s new home.
- Allow for the dog to move at his or her own pace. It is essential for your new dog
to have ample down time or quiet time with no expectations. Do not put pressure
on your new dog by assuming an immediate friendship; it is perfectly acceptable
and natural for this dog to be hesitant around you for the days it will take to get
more at ease in these new surroundings. Please allow the time necessary to get
to know the individual dog, including expressed preferences and dislikes.
Relationships take time to build, so no forcing allowed here. The dog should
never be yelled at, scolded or scared—ignore all bad behavior and reward all
good behavior with simple calm praise. Think of focusing on reinforcing what
you would like your dog to be doing rather than punishing what you do not
want. Stay positive. Remember that over 90% of communication is non verbal
and that dogs are masters at reading this non verbal communication. Should
you be concerned or discouraged your new dog will "read" this as easily as he can
"read" contentment and ease.
You are encouraged to engage with the dog by announcing your presence when you walk
in a room—say hello and use the dog’s name but leave it at that for the first few days.
Again, do not expect instant rapport, this dog does not know you and needs to see how
trustworthy you are. Your new dog will be watching your facial expression, body
posture and tension and anticipating your movements so go slowly and be the friend
your dog would like to have eventually without scaring him or her off. If you simply
cannot resist interacting with your new dog no matter what, take a book and sit on the
floor parallel to your dog leaving about three feet of distance between you both and read
out loud -to yourself. Pick something you are interested in (no horror stories!) and stick
with it for a few pages. This will allow the dog to become more accustomed to your
presence without that pressure of on the spot intimacy.
- Watch and observe your new dog to get to know them. “Listen” to your new dog,
their behavior will often tell you what they need and when they need it. Do not
expect all things right away. There is no set time table here; every dog is an
individual and what takes one dog weeks to feel at home with may make take
another dog months.
I was recently asked how to help a new dog overcome a fear of stairs in a home where the
dog had been in for less than 24 hours. The dog was settling in but was reluctant to
climb a flight of stairs after an initial slip. The new owner was concerned that the dog
needed to overcome this fear right away in order to be at home in her new surroundings.
The answer is that while there are ways to work on getting your dog to be more
comfortable on stairs this is just not the time to ask for it. For now, it is certainly
acceptable, if not, preferred to carry that dog up the stairs. Helping a fearful dog is
never a bad thing, as Suzanne Clothier points out-- we never, ever see a wild animal
(think of a mother tiger or polar bear) forcing their babies to “suck it up.”
What is key here is creating a trusting relationship first off. A relationship in which it is
OK to be afraid of new and scary slippery stairs. Much of what your new dog is afraid of
is necessary caution in encountering a novel situation. Given time and a safe
environment (which you are helping to create) the situation becomes familiar and the
caution gives way.
- Utilize the positives in relationship building. Add to your positive and reassuring
behavior effective communication strategies. Working one on one with a well
qualified dog trainer or training classes offer a dog manners to navigate the
human world, structure, stimulation and bonding activities for you and your dog
(—do wait until your dog has settled in first). Avail yourself of the wealth of free
resources on the web or in books by experts like Pat Miller, Ian Dunbar, Victoria
Stillwell or Sophia Yin. Avoid at all costs dominance based or aversive methods
and look for trainers material offering positive reinforcement styles.
- Even as your relationship with your new dog progresses always permit
adjustment periods to changes in environment or development and allow for
individual personalities, likes and dislikes. There are some New York City dogs
that would prefer never to walk on sidewalk grates and as long as there is a way
around the grate why not allow for that? The point here is that what you are
aiming for is an optimal relationship and not for a perfect dog (even if all dogs are
As many plans and expectations as you
may have for your new dog, know that
your dog simply cannot share them, he
or she does not speak English, read or
know your intentions. He cannot
know that you plan to be the best of
friends, to go for plenty of walks
every day, teach him to play fetch or
let him sit on the couch with you. Your
new dog cannot trust that you will
find the right dog food and make sure
she gets to the vet when she needs to
and find the right toys and games to
play with her".
212-722-2509 / 646-228-7813
Entire website copyright Frania Shelley-Grielen
AnimalBehaviorist.us is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program,
an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising
fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.