Even with the best house training your home is new to this dog, there are no familiar smells, routines or safe and comfortable places to be yet. Should there be a break in house training, know that this loss of control may be stress related. Avoid any reprimands as they will only serve to create more stress.
-Place your dog’s bed in the area the dog will be sleeping in a cozy and quiet corner of your bedroom is ideal-- avoid hallways, garages, basements or other isolated areas. Dogs are social animals and you have brought this dog home to be a part of your family, this is the time to incorporate him or her into the comfort of you and your home.
Set your radio to a classical music station and make sure to leave it on for your dog when you are not around. The soothing music coupled with the melodic voices of the announcers will add to the comfort of your new dog’s new home.
-Allow for the dog to move at his or her own pace. It is essential for your new dog to have ample down time or quiet time with no expectations. Do not put pressure on your new dog by assuming an immediate friendship it is perfectly acceptable and natural for this dog to be hesitant around you for the days it will take to get more at ease in these new surroundings.
-Please allow the time necessary to get to know the individual dog, including expressed preferences and dislikes. Relationships take time to build, so no forcing allowed here. The dog should never be yelled at, scolded or scared—ignore all bad behavior and reward all good behavior with simple calm praise. Think of focusing on reinforcing what you would like your dog to be doing rather than punishing what you do not want.
- Stay positive. Remember that over 90% of communication is non verbal and that dogs are masters at reading this non verbal communication. Should you be concerned or discouraged your new dog will "read" this as easily as he can "read" contentment and ease.
You are encouraged to engage with the dog by announcing your presence when you walk in a room—say hello and use the dog’s name but leave it at that for the first few days. Again, do not expect instant rapport, this dog does not know you and needs to see how trustworthy you are. Your new dog will be watching your facial expression, body posture and tension and anticipating your movements so go slowly and be the friend your dog would like to have eventually without scaring him or her off. If you simply cannot resist interacting with your new dog no matter what, take a book and sit on the floor parallel to your dog leaving about three feet of distance between you both and read out loud -to yourself. Pick something you are interested in (no horror stories!) and stick with it for a few pages. This will allow the dog to become more accustomed to your presence without that pressure of on the spot intimacy.
- Watch and observe your new dog to get to know them. “Listen” to your new dog, their behavior will often tell you what they need and when they need it. Do not expect all things right away. There is no set time table here every dog is an individual and what takes one dog weeks to feel at home with may make take another dog months.
I was recently asked how to help a new dog overcome a fear of stairs in a home where the dog had been in for less than 24 hours. The dog was settling in but was reluctant to climb a flight of stairs after an initial slip. The new owner was concerned that the dog needed to overcome this fear right away in order to be at home in her new surroundings. The answer is that while there are ways to work on getting your dog to be more comfortable on stairs this is just not the time to ask for it. For now, it is certainly acceptable, if not, preferred to carry that dog up the stairs. Helping a fearful dog is never a bad thing, as Suzanne Clothier points out-- we never, ever see a wild animal (think of a mother tiger or polar bear) forcing their babies to “suck it up.”
What is key here is creating a trusting relationship first off. A relationship in which it is OK to be afraid of new and scary slippery stairs. Much of what your new dog is afraid of is necessary caution in encountering a novel situation. Given time and a safe environment (which you are helping to create) the situation becomes familiar and the caution gives way.
- Utilize the positives in relationship building. Add to your positive and reassuring behavior effective communication strategies. Working one on one with a well qualified dog trainer or training classes offer a dog manners to navigate the human world, structure, stimulation and bonding activities for you and your dog (—do wait until your dog has settled in first). Avail yourself of the wealth of free resources online or in books by experts like Pat Miller, Ian Dunbar, Victoria Stillwell or Sophia Yin.
- Avoid at all costs dominance based or aversive methods and look for trainers and material offering science based, positive reinforcement methods.
- Even as your relationship with your new dog progresses always permit adjustment periods to changes in environment or development and allow for individual personalities, likes and dislikes. There are some New York City dogs that would prefer never to walk on sidewalk grates and as long as there is a way around the grate why not allow for that? The point here is that what you are aiming for is an optimal relationship and not for a perfect dog (even if all dogs are perfect already).
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